Very Funny Jokes In Hindi
Apni Patni Se Tang Aa Kar Ek Aadmi Chidiya Ghar Mein Sher,
Ke Pinjre Mein So Gaya,
Uski Patni Usko Dundti Hui Wahn Phuchi Aur Ghar Le Ja Kar Boli,
Kayar Kahi Ke, Mujhse Darkar Waha Sher Ke Pinjre Mein Chip Gaye
~~~~~
Surender Sharma Ji Hasya Rash Ke Jane-Mane Choti Ke Kavi Hai,
Unki Kavita Shuru Hone Ke Phale Hi Hall Taliyo Se Gunjane Lagta Hai,
Shrotagan Haste-Haste Nahi Rukte Lekin Kya Majal Ki Sharma Ji Ke,
Chere Par Muskurahat Tak Aa Jaye, Humne Unhe Unke Ghar Par Bhi,
Kabhi Haste Hua Nahi Dekha Ek Din Unki Shrimati Ji Ne Dekha Ki,
Sharma Ji Akele Khade Hansh Rahe Hai To Chinta Mein Pad Gaye,
Aur Pucha Kyon Ji Kya Hua Aapko, Kya Tabiyat Khrab Hai, Doctor Ko Bulau.
~~~~~
Thane Mein Hathkadi Lage Do Chor Sir Jhukaye Khade The,
Thanedar Ek Chor Se-Tumhara Naam?
Pahela Chor- Chaterjim
Thanedar Bohe Tan Kar – Aur Tumhara ?
Dushra Chor- Banarjee
Thanedar Apne Munshi Se- Dekho Kaam Choro Ka Karte Hai,
Aur Naam Ke Aage Ji Lagate Hai- Likh Do Chatr-Batar.
~~~~~
Ek Neta Ji Thake Hua Ghar Lote, Nauker Se Bole,
Bhut Thak Gya Hu, Itni Der Tak Bhasan Diya,
Jaldi Se Pair Daba De, Nauker- Malik Bhasan Der Tak,
Diya Hai To Gala Thak Gya Hoga Khiye To Gla Bhi Daba Du.
~~~~~
Ek Mitar – Yadi Mein Tumhe Dher Sare Rupey Dekhau To Tum Mujhe Kya Donge,
Dusra Mitar-Kua Mein Dakka
~~~~~
Mareej – Doctor Shab Apne 6 Hafte Pahle Bulaya Tha Tang,
Ka Plaster Katne Ko, So Mai Aa Gaya Hu,
Doctor-Tumko Mana Kiya Tha Ki Sidhi Mat Chadna,
Mareej – Haan, Doctor Shab Maine Bilkul Aapke Kehne Ke,
Mutabik Kiya Hai, Sidhi Bilkul Nahi Chadi, Pipe Ke Raste Chadta Tha.
Ek Singer Kisi Function Mein Gaa Rahe The,
Kuch Darshak Bich-Bich Mein Daad De Rahe The,
Wah Kya Dard Hai, Wakai Singer Ke Gale Mein Dard Hai,
Function Ki Ending Par Ek Mahaseh Singer Ke Pass Aakar Kehne,
Lage Ji Main Gale Ka Doctor Hoon Mujhe Abhi-Abhi Pata Chala Hai,
Ki Aapke Gale Mai Dard Hai, Ye Goliya Lijiye, Dard Mit Jayega.
~~~~~
Mera Challan Mat Karo – Santa Bola Jaha Sharab Ki Dukan Hai Waha Mujhe Scoth,
Whiskey Ki Char Petiya Foran Phuchani Hai,
Isliye Mein Majburan Zara Si Tej Car Chala Raha Tha,
Chodo Bhi, Yeh Lo , Ek Botal Tum Le Lo,
Hawaldar : Aap Mujhe Reshvat Dene Ki Koshish Kar Rahe Hai,
Santa- Are Nahi Sahab,
Hawaldar- Kitne Ki Hai Ek,
Santa- 350 Rupay,
Santa- Acha, Aap Botal Ki Keemat Adda Kar Do,
Hawaldar- Yah Lo 100 Rupay Aur Teen De Do.
~~~~~
Ek Dost Apne Sathi Ko Jo Sehar Ke Neta The Bade Pyar,
Se Sharab Peene Se Hone Wali Barbadiya Bata Rahe The,
Kuch Dair Baad Netaji Ne Jawab Diya Bhai Mere Acche Dost,
Tum Samjhne Ki Koshish Kyu Nahi Karte,
Jab Se Maine Samaj Seva Ka Varat Liya Hai Tabhi Se,
Yah Kadve Ghut Pee Raha Hu Taki Samaj Ko Isse Hone Wale,
Nukshan Bata Saku, Mein Koi Shounk Ke Liye Nahi Pita Hu.
~~~~~
Trafic Police Ke Ek Sub-Inspector Ne Apni Jeep Ek,
Laides Ke Piche Lagkar Use Tej Raftar Car Chlane Ke,
Jurm Mein Roka To Lady Tamakkar Bole – Agar Mein Tej Chala,
Rahi Thi To Tum Bhi To Tej Chala Rahe The Warna,
Tumne Mujhe Pakada Kaise Hota
~~~~~
Maa – Beta, Aisa Kaam Nahi Karna Chiye Jisse Pitna Pade,
Chintu- Maa, To Ab Mein School Nahi Jaunga,
Maa – Kyu Beta,
Chintu- Waha Master Ji Meri Pitai Karte Hai
New Jokes in Hindi Language
Teacher- Tum Do Assan Sawalo Ka Jawab Dena Pasand,
Karoge Ya Ek Musqil Sawal Ka,
Chintu- Ek Musqil Sawal Ka,
Teacher- To Batao Pehle Murgi Hui Ya Anda,
Chintu- Kaafi Dair Sochne Ke Baad Andda,
Teachar- Wo Kaise ? Explain Karo,
Chintu- Sar, Aap To Yeh Dusra Sawal Puch Rahe Hai.
~~~~~
Teacher – Bolo A For Apple,
Bacha Dheere Se- A For Apple
Teacher Jor Se Bolo Tum,
Bacha – Jai Mata Di.
~~~~~
Teacher- Kyo Bunty Aaj Phir Tum Dair Se Aaye,
Banti- Sir Gir Gaya Tha Aur Lag Gaye,
Teacher- Khan Gir Gaye The Aur Khan Lag Gayi,
Mujhe To Kuch Dikhai Nahi Deta,
Bunty- Sir Bistar Par Gir Gaya Tha Aur Aankhe Lag Gayi Thi.
~~~~~
Teacher- Haan Bacho, Tum Uss Aadmi Ko Kya Kahoge Jo,
Bolta Hi Rahe, Jabki Dusre Log Uski Baat Mein Jara,
Bhi Dilchaspi Nahi Late Ho Jaldi Batao,
Chintu- Teacher
~~~~~
Chintu Teacher Se Bola – Teacher Jab Aap English Ki,
Class Mein English Mein Bolti H To Hisab Ki,
Class Mein Hisab Mein Kyon Nahi Bolti,
Teacher- Jayada 3-5 Ki To Mein Tumhe Claas Se 9-2-11 Kar Dungi.
50+ Hindi Chutkule for Whatsapp
Maa Beti Se Bole- Beta Tumhe Itni Der Ho Gaye,
Suraj Bhi Nikal Aaya , Tum Abhi Tak Uthe Bhi Nahi,
Chintu- Mummy, Tumhe Malum Hona Chaiye,
Suraj Mujhse Bhi Pehle So Jata Hai.
~~~~~
Hospital Mein Pade Bimar Banta Ko Sahara Date Hue,
Banto- Ne Kaha’ Tum Jara Bhi Chinta Mat Karo Thik Ho Jaoge,
Hame 5500 Rupey Kamre Ke, 3000 Rupey Nurse Ke,
8000 Rupay Opration Ke Aur 2000 Rupey Dawao Ke Dane Hai,
Jara Socho To Ki Jin Lendaro Ko Tumse Itne Paise Wasul Karne Hai,
We Log Tumhe Kaise Mar Jane Denge.
~~~~~
Hello….. Hello….. Mera Le Lo Dil,
Bolo…. Bolo…. Apni Kholo…. Jubba, Dekho Apni Khol Ke Dekho … Aankhe,
Kitna Bada Hai Mera,,,,, Dil.
~~~~~
Ek Nangi Aurat Bar Mein Gayi Aur Usne Ek Peg Manga,
Wahi Paas Baitha Fauji Usse Dekh Raha Tha,
Nangi Aurat- Kya Kabhi Nangi Aurat Nahi Dekhi,
Fauhi- Dekhi Hai, Par Mein Soch Raha Hu Ki Tum Paise Kahan Se Nikalogi.
~~~~~
Chintu Ne Ek Din Apne Ghar Ki Deewar Par Pencil,
Se Kuch Line Aur Cartoon Bana Diye,
Rasoi Ke Kaam Se Nipatane Ke Baad Jab Chintu Ki Maa,
Baitak Room Mein Aaye Aur Diwaro Ko Dekha To Chintu,
Par Bhut Gussa Hui Aur Boli- Kyu Re Yah Bhi Koi Jagah Thi Aisa Karne Ki,
Chintu Ne Turant Uttar Diya – Maa Tumhi To Ise Drawing Room Kahti Ho,
So Maine Drawing Kar Di Or Kuch Kalakari Bhi Karu Kya.
Very Funny Jokes
Santa Ne Banta Se Deri Se Aane Ka Karan Pucha To,
Banta Ne Karan Batate Hua Kaha- Yaar Meri Aadat Hai,
Main Jo Kaam Karta Hu Ussi Mein Doob Jata Hu,
Is Par Santa Ne Gusse Ne Kah- To Phir Tum Ek Kua Kyu Nahi Khdte.
~~~~~
Santa Ke Paas Banta Pehli-Pehli Baar Aaya Aur Unhe Namashkar Kiya,
Phir Bola – Kya Tum Mujhe Dus Hazar Rupee Udhar Doge,
Santa- Lekin Mein Aapko Janta Nahi Hu,
Banta- Aap Mujhe Jante Nahi Ho Esliye Aaya Hu,
Kyuki Jo Mujhe Janta Hai, Wo To Mujhe Ek Rupya Bhi Dene Ko Tayaar Nahi Hai.
~~~~~
Santo – Mere To Koi Santan Nahi Hai Sochti Hu Ye Sampati,
Kisi Sadhu Ko Daan Kar Du Yeh Sun Kar Santa,
Vivash Ho Kar Jane Laga Santo- Tum Kahan Ja Rahe Ho,
Santa- Shadu Banne Or Kaha Jaunga.
~~~~~
Santa- Kyu Akhbar Mei Padha Hai Ki Tumhari Sethani Mar Gayi Hai,
Banta- Haan, Bhai Mar Gayi Yaar Pichale Panch Baras Mein Budhiya,
Ki Biliyo Par Pyar Luta Raha Tha Taki Vasiyat Likhte Samay,
Use Mera Dhayan Bhi Rahe, Santa- Tab To Malamal Ho Gaye Honge,
Kya-Kya Milla Tumhe Banta- Uski Sari Billiya.
~~~~~
Santa Ne Banta Se Kaha – Mein Bina Ticket Tumhe Puri Duniya Ghuma Sakta Hu,
Banta – Wo Kaise,
Santa – Aao Mare Sath, Dekho Yah Raha Duniya Ka Naksha,
Bolo Tour Kahan Se Shuru Kiya Jaye. Saari Duniya Ghuma Dunga.
45+ Non Veg Jokes and Dirty Chutkule
Mareej- Doctor Sahab Mere Pet Mein Gas Bohat Banti Hai,
Lekin Musqil Yeh Nahi Hai, Ye Hai Ki Jab Nikalti Hai To Aawaz Nahi Hoti,
Doctor- Koi Baat Nahi , Mein Tumhe Dawa Deta Hu,
Mareej Kuch Din Baad- Doctor Aapki Daaa Se Bohat Fayada Hua,
Aapne Kon Se Dawa Di Thi Doctor- Kano Ki Dawa Behre Kahi Ke.
~~~~~
Neta Ji Ke Bhasan Ke Baad Log Unka Autogaraph Lane Phuch Gaye,
Netaji Autogaraph Dete-Dete Thak Gaye,
Akhir Mein Chid Kar Unhone Ek Aadmi Ki,
Copy Par Gadhe Ki Tasveer Bana Di,
Iss Par Aadmi Bola -A Jji Mujhe Apka,
Aotogahrapy Chiye Photogaraph Nahi
~~~~~
Pita Ji Apne Chote Bete Ko Lekar School Mein Bharti Karane Gaye,
Aur Waha Master Ji Se Bole – Iss Ladke Ko Ginti To Aati Hai Aage,
Aap Padha Dijiye Masterji- Haan , Bache Ginti Sunao,
Bacha- Ek, Do, Teen, Char, Panch, Chah, Sath, Aath, Nau. Dus,
Master Ji- Sahabas, Iske Aage Sunao,
Bacha- Gulam, Begum, Badsha
~~~~~
Doctor Ek Hero Ki Dekh-Rekh Kar Use Pucha,
– Tum Pani Kaise Pete Ho,
Hero- Jee Ubalkar Aur Phir Kitanuo Se
Ekdum Bachane Ke Liye Sharab Le Lete Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Inspector Ne Karib Char Ghante Tak School Ka Muaina Kiya,
Aur Khush Ho Kar Bola – Koi Ladka Mujhse Kuch Puchna Chata Hai,
Ek Ladke Ne Utah Kar Pucha – Aap School Se Kab Jayenge Sir Ji.
Hindi Chutkule for Child
Sehar Mein Badi Sundar Party Chal Rahi Thi,
Char Ganje Mehman Bin Bulaye Hi Waha Phuch Gaye,
Aur Mejbaan Se Milkar Bole – Waah Kya Sundar Mehfil Hai,
Mejban Ne Unke Ganje Siro Ko Gaur Se Dekha Aur Bola,
Ji Haan, Aur Phir Aap Sabne Yaha Aakar Char Chand Laga Diye.
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Ek Kanjush Phalo Ki Dukan Par Gaya,
Wahan Bade Mehnat Se Usne Apni Pasand Ke,
2 Apple Chate Aur Dukandar Se Pucha – Kaise Diye?
Dukandar- 25 Rupay Ke 2,
Kanjus Thoda Hadbdaya Phir Usne Ek Apple Wapis Rakh,
Diya Aur Bola – Yah Kitne Ka Hai? 13 Rupey Ka ?,
Ye Lo 12 Rupay Aur Wo Dushre Wala De Do.
~~~~~
Ek Ladies Doctor Ne Malika Sherawat Ki Check-Up Karte Hua Pucha,
Kya Abhi Pichale Dino Tumne Kisi Aur Se Check Up Karwaya Hai,
Malika Sharawat Boli-Nahi, Par Film Industry Mein Kuch,
Naye Heros Ko Sample Ke Taur Pe Taste Karaya Tha.
~~~~~
Parivar Kalyan Department Ke Ek Aadmi Se Kisi Ne Kaha,
Kya Khak Parchar Karte Ho Tum Chote Parivar Ka,
Tumhare Khud Ke Hi 6 Bache Hai,
Aadmi Ne Bade Pyaar Se Jawab Diya- Aaji Iss,
Department Mei Tabadle Se Pehle Vikash Vibhag Me Tha.
~~~~~
Ek Tourist Ne Ek Resturant Mein Do Eggs Aur Ek Tea Mangwayi,
Jab Waiter Bill Laya To Usme Do Eggs Ki Price 30 Rupay Likhi Thi ,
Tourist- Kyu Eggs Idhar Badi Mushkil Se Milte Hai Kya Jo Rate Ye Hai,
Waiter- Nahi, Tourist Badi Muskil Se Milte Hai Ji.
50+ Chutkule Hindi Me and Comedy Jokes
Filmo Mein Chote Mote Role Karne Wala Ek Juniour Artist,
Shyam Ko Ghar Lota To Usne Apni Biwi Ko Apne Sath Kaam,
Karne Wale Saathi Ke Niche Leta Paya,
Chintu Kya Kar Rahe Ho Aajkal?
Chintu Ne Uski Biwi Ke Phelu Se Sir Utaya Aur,
Aaram Se Bola – Kuch Nahi Aaj Kal To Khali Hu.
~~~~~
Maan Lo, Hamare Ghar Mein Koi Chor Ghush Aaye To Aap Kya Kroge?,
Jo Tum Khogi Jaaneman,
Biwi : Mein Kyo?
Kyu Ki Ab Tak Is Ghar Mein Mujhe Apni Marji Se Kuch Karna Naseeb Nahi Hua.
~~~~~
Ek Hotel Ke Manager Ne Hotel Mein Board Lagaya Tha,
Hamare Waiters Ko Tip Dekar Unka Apmaan N Kare,
Hotel Ke Bahar Ek Waiter Ne Bhi Ek Peti Tangi,
Jispe Upar Likha Tha – Apmaan Peti.
~~~~~
Ek Din Rajpal Yadav Ek Dukan Mein Koi Chij,
Kharidane Ke Liye Gaye, Counter Par Khadi Khubsurat Ladki,
Ne Muskurate Hue Kaha – Good Afternoon Sir, Aapki Kya Iccha Hai?,
Rajpal Yadav- Meri Iccha Hai Ki Mein Tumhe Apni Baaho Mein,
Kash Lu Aur Dukan Se Bahar Le Jakar Khub Chumu,
Lekin Mujhe Chaiye Ek Aurvydeic Navratan Tel Ki Dibbi.
~~~~~
Ek Dadi Wala Aadmi Bas Me Khade-Khade Safar Kar Raha Tha,
Ek Stop Par Santa Chada, Uska Hath Dande Tak Tak Nahi Phucha,
Usne Uss Aadmi Ki Dhadhi Pakad Li, Dadi Wale Ko Bohat Gussa Aaya,
Usne Santa Se Kaha – Meri Dhadi Chod Do,
Santa Ne Uske Aur Dekha Aur Kaha-Kya Aap Yaha Utar Rahe Hai.
~~~~~
Patni Apni Pati Par Bohut Shak Karti Thi,
Ek Din Unke Ghar Par Khubsurat Si Ladki
Ghar Par Patni Se Milne Aayi, Thodi Der Baatchit Hone Ke Baad,
Pati Ne Kaha- Dear Aisa Lagta Hai Rasoi Mein Daal Jal Rahi Hai,
Patni- Daal Jal Rahi Hai To Jalne Do,
Aaj Tumhari Daal Nahi Galne Dungi.