200+ Most Hilarious Jokes in English

Most Hilarious Jokes Collection

The rain makes all things beautiful,
the grass and flowers 2,
if rain makes all thins beautiful,
why doesn’t it rain on u?

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Hello SmS Text Messages for Girlfriend

Days are too busy hours are too few,
Seconds are too fast but there is always time for me to
Say hello to someone like you smile and enjoy life.

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Funny SmS for Wife in Hindi

Definition of Biwi

Jo shadi ke baad 10-15 saal tak tok tok kar aapki,
saari aadtein badal de aur uske baad kahe
.
.
“Aap pehle jaise nahi rahe”

True Lines About Life in Hindi

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Get Well Soon God Bless You Sms Messages

Sending a wish to help you along to the day
When you have fully recovered from your pains,
And are perfectly strong. Get well soon.

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Funny Jokes on Brain

You are cellular operator has now changes,
your tariff plan,
call charges are now calculated according to brain size,
the smaller, the cheaper, cognates ! u can now make free calls.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Cute SmS in English for Boyfriend

I saw u on the road that day,
u r walking so fine,
u r perfect so divine,
my heart started to sing a sweet song 4 u,
oh let the dog out.

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Funny Jokes About Underwear

A bus station is where a bus stops,
a trains station is where a train stops,
on my desk, I have a work station.

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Beauty is not measured by your clothes or make up,
but your innerself, so today change yr daam under wear.

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SmS Wishes Messages Thank You

Special pleasures old and new,

Special joy in all you do,

Special happiness in true,

You’re warmly wished all these and more

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Most Hilarious Jokes in English

Why do I sms u ?, is it because I care?,
or I miss u?, or I love u ?
Or I need U ? No! its b’coz,
time pass ke liye koi bakra chaiye.

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80 Words SmS In English

Time Is A Most Elastic
Element Of The World. Because,
It Increases The Minutes When,
We Are Waiting & It Decreases,
The Hours When We Are Enjoying.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Sweet Love Messages for Boyfriend

Sweet I’m but sugar is you,
image is mine but colors fragrance is you,
crazy I’m but only about you.
love you like crazy.

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Love Message to Make Him Smile

Somewhere someone dreams of ur smile,
and when dreaming of u says life is worth-while,
So when u r lonely remember its true that,
somewhere someone is thinking of you.

Love You Shayari in Hindi

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English Short SmS on Friendship

A phone is form of communication,
A kiss is a form of affection,
A picture is a form of remembrance,
Choosing me as ur frnd is a form of good taste.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Funny English SmS and Jokes

One school boy asked dad,
what should I write in application form for
.
”Mother Tongue” column? Dad replied: very long.

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Funny Jokes on Doctor and Nurse

Nurse: doctor, everytime I lean over

this patient to learn his heartbeat,
.
His heartbeat increases.
.
What should I do? Button your collar.

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Funny Sms About English on Kids and His Mother

Curious lady- little boy, how is it that ur mother’s name in sharma.
.
And your’s is verma?
.
Boy- she got married again and I didn’t.

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Very Funny Jokes About Girl Pregnant

Boy: u r pregnant?
.
Girl: not to all.
.
Boy: then why whenever I send you a sms,
tumhari delivery report aa jati h????

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Most Hilarious Jokes of All Time

A casual entrant to a bar do you serve woman at this bar?
.
Barman – no sir, you have to bring your own.

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Funny Message to Girlfriend for Whatsapp

Not every flower represents love,
but rose did,
.
not every tree can stand thirst,
but cactus did,
.
not every monkey can read sms but u did it.

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Funniest Jokes Conversations Between Father and Son

Father: “son if u get good markes,
I will give u a new cycle.”
son: If I got less marks then what will u give me?
Father: ”A cycle rikshaw”.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Funny Most Hilarious Jokes

The job application form had a column asking – sex,0
.
The applicant wrote- twice or sometime thrice a night.

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Funny Jokes on Marriage Certificate Expiry Date

Wife – honey why u have been reading our,

marriage certificate for an hour?
.
Husband – I was looking for its expiry date.

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Funny Text Message Jokes About Friends

Chimpas escaped from the zoo I was caught watching TV,
.
Another playing football and the third one was caught reading the sms.

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Funny Jokes Conversation Between Teacher and Student

Teacher: correct the sentence
“A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”

Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : how?

Student: Lady’s  first.

Urdu Poetry SmS

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Funny Jokes and Messages to Send to Your Boyfriend

Attention: there is a horse race,
but the club horses are on strike,
club has decided to use donkey instead,
so stop reading this sms and,
report on your duty immediately.

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Most Hilarious Jokes Ever Told

Husband – Change the Channel to Sports Channel.

Wife – Never.

Husband – OK I Will See.
Wife – What?

Husband – Channel What You are Looking.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Wife Husband SmS Jokes in English

Pappu on honeymoon (To Wife) :
Before Marriage I had too Many
Physical Relations with Call-Girls.

Wife: Oh! I am Thinking the Same
That I have seen you
Somewhere Very Close.

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Teacher Student SmS Jokes in English

Teacher- What is The Difference Between
Love and Liquor ?

Student- If Liquor Exceed the Limit Boy Vomit
and
If Love Exceed the Limit Girl Vomit.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Interview SmS Jokes In English

Waiter: What’s your order sir?
Me: 1 kadhai paneer and 3 butter naan…
Waiter: and what do you like in desert sir?
Me: I like camel ride..

Best Ghazal Collection

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Best English Funny Jokes

The waiter took his son to a zoo show.
There the man in front of the cage of lion
throwing piece of meat from a distance to feed him.
The boy asked his father – Daddy why
the man not feed the lion properly.

The waiter said – Son The lion does not tip well.

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English Jokes and Quotes

A foolish man going somewhere for job.
Owner – come tomorrow on the jop.
The man sit on a chair lying there.
owner  – why sat on chair? You are servant.
foolish – tomorrow I will be servant.
So I think today shall sit in chair.

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Doctor Jokes SmS in English

The doctor said after examining
the patient – will be utilized specs.
the patient asked surprisingly – but doctor,
I have already engaged spectacles.
the doctor said – I would have checked specs.

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Christmas SmS Message

Heap on the wood, The wind is chill,

but let it whistle as it will,

We’ll keep our Christmas merry still.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Christmas SmS Greeting

Wishing you the light of hope that keeps the future bright,
wishing you a Christmas touched with god’s external light.

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latest Santa Comedy Jokes SmS

Santa to tailor – how many charge for pant sewing
tailor – 70 rs
santa – and for half pant
tailor – 30 rs
santa – so, please sew my 48 inch’s half pant.

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Most Hilarious Appropriate Jokes

The pilot told the co-pilot –
the plane was on fire,
but there is nothing to worry.

Co-pilot – why should I worry,
my side is a little, he is in the back

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Funniest Banta Mad Jokes

Father – Hey, why are you coming crying,
you had gone for the exam

Banta – In the paper was written,
Look behind, when I looked back teacher kicked me out

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Valentine Best Short Joke

Valentine Special.

Frnds Be Cool Bfore Valentine.

nd

Be Superb Cool After Valentine.

Funny Shero Shayari in Hindi

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Latest Funny Decent Jokes

At 8 am,
power department officer after duty came out and
saw all the street lights on the road was on,

he went back to his office and asked the clerk –
because of whom the lights are burning ?

The clerk replied – because of Thomas Edison.

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Awesome SmS on Life and Love in English

The day we met was special, I love u,
I wish u a successful life.
I will always love u and,
support you in every field.

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Love SmS for Her Busy Life Related in English

There’s no special reason for this message,
I just want 2 steal a single moment out of ur busy life,
and hope I can make you smile,
and say some 1 remember you.

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English Sms Collection 140 Character

Tomorrow  there is an other day,

A day I’d rather spend with you… without you,

There is no joy, only plain.

Pls remember me.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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English Funny SmS On Beggar

A man went up to a beggar and said
“If u stop begging I will pay you Rs. 1,000 pm”
the begger replied, “cum and beg with me
I’ll pay u Rs. 5,000 pm.”

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Teacher Funny SmS In English

Teacher: ”Name and animal found In the desert?
Sonu: ”Camel.”
Teacher: ”Good, name another animal found in the desert?”
Sonu:”Another Camel.”

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Most Hilarious Clean Jokes Ever

Santo : U say I look but people still praise me.
Santa : it must be banta.
Santo : how do u know?
Santa : he is a scrape dealer.

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English Funny SmS On Wife

Two men meet, both looking their lost wives.
1st : What does yours look like?
2nd man says : she’s 5’9”, 36-24-36, fair, blonde and blue-eyed. And yours?
1st man: forger mine, let’s look 4 yours.

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English Funny SmS ON Women

What are the three fastest ways of communication?

a = telephone

b = television

c = tell-a-woman

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English Funny SMS On Kitchen

A cooker and a kadahi are talking 2 each other,
.
The cooker told the kadahai that it was so black,
The kadahi replied, ”even then, why u whistle when u see me.”

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English Funny SMS On Gangster

What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed the exams?
.
“Dad, they questioned me for three hours but I never told them anything.”

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English Funny Joke On Girl Skirt

A good discussion Is like a mint skirt.

Short enough to arouse interest and long enough to cover the subject.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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English SMS On Heaven And Hell

Heaven is when U have a German Car,
American salary, Chinese food & Indian wife.
Hell is when car is Chinese, food is German,
wife is American and salary Indian.

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Non Veg Funny SmS In English

Doctor : U seem 2 be in excellent health,
U pulse is as regular as clockwork.
Patient : that’s because you’ve got,
you are hand on my watch.

Sad Status About Life

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Funny SmS On Doctor In English

Man : “Doctor, Doctor! My wooden leg is giving me a headache”
Doctor “Why”!
Man : “Because my wife keeps hitting me on the head with it.”

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Most Hilarious Jokes in the World

Man at railway enquiry counter :”when will Rajdhani Express arrive?”
Stationmaster: “8 a.m”
Man : “Shatabdi Express?”
Stationmaster: “8:30 a.m”
Man : “Aur kashi Express?”
Stationmaster: “where do you have to go?”
Man : “Nowhere, I have to cross the railway line.”

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English Teacher Funny SMS

Teacher : what’s your father’s name?
student : his name is Butter Red.
Teacher : what?
student : yes mam, His name is Makhan lal.

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Graveyard Funny English SmS

Ant and elephant share a nit of romance,
Next morning ant finds elephant dead.

ant says………….,

I night of passion and I have to spend,
the rest of my life digging a grave.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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English Funny SmS On Boss

The boss is interviewing an applicant for a job,
boss : why did you leave you last job?
Applicant : due to illness.
Boss : What illness?
Applicant : My boss was sick of me.

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Ant And Elephant English Funny SmS

Ant : “what is your age?”
Elephant : “I am 5 years old.”
Ant : “Such a young age and such a huge body”.
Elephant :”Tan ki Shakti, mann ki Shakti, Bournvita.
Elephant :”What’s your age?
Ant : I am 18 years old.
Elephant : 18 years and such a small body you look young.
Ant : Ponds age miracle badhati umar mano tham si jaye.

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English SmS On Life

Life is for u, death is for me,
being together is for u, being together is for u,
being lonely is for me,
everything is for u, but u are only for me.

Sad Shayari in Hindi for Love

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Most Hilarious Jokes In English

Ironic destiny is that we have nothing to cuddle,
but we are the most affluent people in the world,
bcoz forgive the luster of love between us.

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Best Shayari In English

Life can be hard, not always fun,
When night brings dark and morning brings sun,
When life gets tough and nobody seems to care,
Give me a call and I will always be there.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Night Love SmS In English

When darkness and shadow feel the night,
I want u there to hold me tight,
2 keep me safe from any harm.
I dream each moment we are apart,
I count minutes from the start.
So stay with me forever, dear

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Most Funniest and Hilarious Jokes

Life is a constant struggle in which there is sorrow,
Suffering, transient pleasure that cums and goes,
The only thing left for us to worry,
Is 2 stipulate that there must be a goal.

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Friendship English SmS Jokes

U r the hardest gift of god to me fought we praised,
each other and found that r friendship grew stronger,
than others may are fighting and,
laughter go on for always.

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Double Meaning Jokes

I want to suck you . . . .
lick you . . . .
wanna move my tongue all over you . . . .
wanna feel you in my mouth . . . .
yep, that”s how you . . . eat an ice cream.

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April Fool Sms In English

If people talk about your beauty,
your power, your wisdom or your smartness,
then just give them a tight slap . . . . ,
How dare they Fool you in advance.

Happy April Fool

April Fools Day Quotes

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Independence Day SmS

Happy Independence Day

31 States,
1618 Languages,
6400 Castes,
6 Religion,
6 Ethnic Groups,
29 Major festivals
& 1 Country
15th august independence day sms

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15th August Freedom SmS

Let us celebrate and enjoy the freedom to live,
independently in our country Cheerfully,
Helpfully,Hopefully,Peacefully by remembering,
our National Heroes who gave us Freedom,
after suffering pain & humlisation.

15th August Sms

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Happy Independence Day

Today we come together,
Be the cause for the unity,
Make it Beautiful day another,
Fight against corruption,
Spiral the flag of On Nation.

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Sweet Friend SmS In English

U r the hardest gift of god to me fought we praised,
each other and found that r friendship grew stronger,
than others may are fighting and, laughter go on for always.

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Funny English SmS

You may meet people, better than me,
funnier than me, more beautiful than me,
but one thing I can say to you,
I will always  be there for you when they all leave you,
to kick you at you back and say better than me, no way.

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Cute English SmS Messages

I trusted you so much and your big mouth is never shut,
Why did you tell others my secret ?
you really disappointed me,
Please stop telling everybody  that I’m so cute.

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Most Hilarious Short Jokes Ever

Mistakes are not crime,
if you can rectify those mistakes they are the key to success,
For ex. God created you so what ? then he created me.

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Funny English Love SmS

You are very special for me,
you should be safe always,
you should be safe my dear,
I can’t be with you all time,
so please be careful whenever u jump from tree to tree.

Non Veg SmS for Girlfriend

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Most Hilarious Jokes

Your network tariff has changed,
call charges are now calculated according to brain size,
the smaller the cheaper you can make free call.

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Funny English SmS Jokes

Earth may stop rotating,
birds may stop flying,
candles may stop melting,
fishes may stop swimming,
heart may stop beating,
but your brain will never start working.

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Funny Sms In English

I saw something very cute in shop window,
it was stunning simply adorable,
I was supposed to buy it for you but suddenly,
I realized that it was my reflection.

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Funny SmS Joke

Beauty is not how you look,
it is not how handsome you are,
it is not your figure too,
beauty is the inner self,
so change your underwear daily.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Beauty is not how you look,
it is not how handsome you are,
it is not your figure too,
beauty is the inner self,
so change your underwear daily.

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Funny Text Message

When I call you, one ring means one,
I am missing you, to ring means,
I like you, three ring means one,
I am thinking of you, for ring means,
I need you, 5 ring means. idiot pick up the phone.

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Most Hilarious Jokes

I saw something very cute in shop window,
it was stunning simply adorable,
I was supposed to buy it for you but suddenly,
I realized that it was my reflection.

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Most Hilarious and Funny Jokes

I saw something in a shop window,
it was stunning cute, simply adorable,
I was supposed to but it for you,
then I realized it was my reflection.

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Boyfriend Girlfriend SmS

Boyfriend to his girlfriend : my darling don’t you,
want to be come the sunshine of my life ?
girlfriend : certainly, nothing would make,
me happier than to be 150 million kilometers away from you.

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Friendship Messages In English

No matter thorny the path,
my friend you were always there to heel my wounds,
U were the guiding light and kept me at gliding height.

Whatsapp Motivational Status

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Student Funny Most Hilarious Jokes

Girlfriend setting password for her laptop with
boyfriend sitting beside her,
She types “MYBRAIN” as password
Boyfriend fell down of his chair laughing
Because
Laptop replied: “TOO SMALL ”

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First Two Benches are Reserved For VIP,
Next Two Benches are General coach ,
Then  Last Two Benches are Very Demanded,
Because Its sleeper coach.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Happy Chocolate Day Jokes

Love Is Like A Sweet Chocolate,
It Leaves Sweeter Taste In Life,
To Put A Sweet Bite For Next
Time & It Makes Our Mind & Heart
Feel Sweet. Happy Chocolate Day.

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English Teacher Jokes

Teacher :- “When was Rome built ?”
Student :- “At night, sir.”
Teacher :- “Why?”
Student :- “U once said Rome was not built in a day.”

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Most Hilarious Jokes In English

Pappu went his brother to the zoo,
On the leopard’s cage they saw a sign that read
Wet Paint, “Oh, ”Pappu’s brother said,”I always,
thought that leopard’s spots were real.”

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Office Jokes In English

Before leaving for office,
a man would tease his wife by saying,
“bye, mother of four!” one day, she said,
“Bye, father of two!” And he stopped his joke.

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Most Funny Comedy Jokes

A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station,
sends a telegram to his wife : “I wish you were he.”
the message received by wife :”I wish you were her.”

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Santa Banta Jokes In English

Santa : Oye Bate, you are wearing,
1 green and 1 blue socks,
Banta : Yes, it’s really strange,
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

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Most Hilarious Jokes

two Irishmen were flying over Baghdad,
I had sand & the other had cement,
I asked why are we doing this d other said,
we are doing a mortar attack.

Success Quotes for Students

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Funny English SmS Jokes Collection

The wife her asks her husband,
“Why do you keep my picture in Ur wallet?”
Husband replies : “Whenever I have a problem,
no matter how big. I look at your picture and feel better.”
“Do I have such a soothing effect on U? the pleased wife asks.”
“Actually, when I look at your picture,
all other problems in the world appear to,
be too small in comparision,” he tells her.

(Most Hilarious Jokes)

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Most Hilarious Jokes

What’s wrong with your cell?
Tried calling you so many times but,
everytime the operator says,
the subscriber your calling is in your heart.

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Love Story In English

A boy & a girl loved each other very much.
unfortunately the boy died.
girl was upset too much & she couldn?t stop her tears.
she kept on crying every day.
many people gave sympathy but no argument could stop her tears.
one night she slept & had a dream.
she saw the guy in heaven with so many guys of his age.
he felt relaxed.
but she noticed that every guy was in fairy dress &
had a lightened candle in their hand.
but her guy had a candle which was not lightened.
she asked him: ?why your candle is not lightened??
he said: ? whenever i lighten my candle my candle your tears falls on it?
please don?t cry for whom you really love?
because they don’t want you too?? (Most Hilarious Jokes)

 

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