Whatsapp Funny Messages Collection
Ek Sardar Se Pucha Gaya – Ford Kya Hai ?
Sardar :- Gaddi ,
Prashan :- Oxford Kya Hai ?
Sardar Badi Aasani Se – Bail Gaadi
~~~~~
Sardar :- Kya Bataaun Ma ? Bhagwaan Ka Shukar Karo Ki,
Aaj Main Jinda Bach Gaya Hu,
Maa :- Kyun Kya Hua ?,
Sardar :- Are Maa, Aaj Mere Sar Ke Upar Poori Railgaadi Pass,
Kar Gayi, Lekin Main Bach Gaya,
Maa :- So Bache Kaise ?
Sardar :- Kyunki Main Us Waqt Pull Ke Niche Tha.
~~~~~
Sardaar Chinta Me Tha :- 2nd Sardar Ne Karan Pucha,
Sardar :- Meri Patni Ko 4 Bacche Chahiye Aur ,
Mujhe Bhi Pure 4 Hi Bacche Chahiye,
2nd Sardar :- To Isme Chinta Ki Kya Baat Hai,
Sardar :- 8 Bacho Ke Rehne Ka Ghar Kahan Se Launga Main.
~~~~~
Ladki Gali Se Guzar Rahi Thi,
Wahan Ek Sardar Peshab Kar Raha The,
Ladki Dekhkar Dusri Taraf Palatne Lagi,
Sardar :- Nikal Jao Mene Ise Pakad Rakha Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Baar Sardar Exam Dene Gaya Or,
Sath Mein Plumber Bhi Le Gaya.
Kyunki Sardar Ko Khbar Mili Thi,
Ki Paper Leak Ho Gaya Hai.
Funny Messages for Friends
Sardar Rape Karne Wala Hi Tha Ki, Ladki Boli,
Agar Tum Ek Kadam Bhi Aage Badhe To Me,
Apne Apko Maar Daalungi,
Sardar :- Wah Kamini Wah Mar Jaogi,
Par Kisi Ke Kaam Nahi Aaogi Hai Hai.
~~~~~
Khidki Khuli Julfein Udhi,
Socha Husn E Yaar Ka Deedar Tha,
Par Zulfein Hati To Kismat Footi,
Wo To Kameena Nahaya Hua Sardar Tha.
~~~~~
T.C :- Bina Ticket Ghum Rahe Ho Batao Kaha Se Aaye Ho,
Santa :- Babuji Jail Khaane Se,
T.C :- Jail Kya Karne Gaye The ?
Santa :- Ji Bina Ticket Safar Karta Pakda Gaya Tha.
~~~~~
Chuha :- Hathi Bhai Tumhari Underwear Chahiye,
Hathi :- Saale Chuhe, Tu Mera Underwear Pehnega,
Chuha :- Nahi Re Pagle, Meri Beti Ki Shadi Hai,
Aur Mujhe Baratio Ke Liye Tent Lagana Hai.
~~~~~
Santa :- Yaar Aaj Gaadi Ki Latering Mein,
Meri Ghadi Aur Purse Gir Gaya,
Banta :- Are Tumhe To Janjeer Khichni Chahiye Thi,
Santa :- Yaar Khinchi To Kahi Baar Lekin,
Har Baar Paani Hi Paani Nikla.
45+ Non Veg Jokes and Dirty Chutkule
Ek Neta Ne Seth Maange Se Deeng Hakte Hue Kaha,
Bhashan Sabse Anmol Chij Hai,
Maange – Tabhi To Jab Aap Chup Hote Hain,
Ek Kaudi Ke Bhi Nahi Hote Hain.
~~~~~
Ek Neta Ne Seth Maange Se Deeng Hakte Hue Kaha,
Bhashan Sabse Anmol Chij Hai,
Maange – Tabhi To Jab Aap Chup Hote Hain,
Ek Kaudi Ke Bhi Nahi Hote Hain.
~~~~~
Police :- Umeed Hai Ab Tum Saari Buri Aadetein Chod Doge,
Mujhrim :- Haa Sahab Koshish To Karunga Hi,
Ki Phir Aapke Paas Na Aana Pade.
~~~~~
Santa Or Janwaro Ke Doctor KI Mulaqaat.
Santa – Sahab Mujhe Neend Bahut Aati Hai,
Doctor – Ye Lo Dawayi Aur Ek Balti Me Gholkar Pee Lena,
Santa – Sahab Ek Balti ? Itni Dawaayi Me Kaise Piyunga ?
Doctor – Jaise Aur Jaanwar Pee Lete Hai Thik Waise Hi.
~~~~~~
School Me Master Ne Pankaj Se Pucha,
Jisme Koi Bhi Kami Na Ho Use Kya Kehte Hai,?
Pankaj :- Sir Use To Kameena Kehte Hai.
~~~~~
Teacher : Sansaar Mein Koi Bhi Aisa Kaam Nahi,
Jise Kabhi Kiya Nahi Ja Sake,
Pinku : Masterji Kya Aap Tube Mein Se Nikle Hue Toothpaste,
Ko Wapas Tube Mein Rakh Sakte Hai?
Funny Whatsapp Messages with Smileys
Suhagraat Par Dulhe Ne Apni Nayi Naweli Dulhan Se Pucha,
Shadi Se Pehle Kitne Aadmion Se Tumhari Dosti Thi,
Dulhan Ko Chup Dekhkar Dulhe Ne Fir Pucha – Kuch Bolo ?
Dulhan : Mein Abhi Gin Hi Rahi Hu.
~~~~~
Ek Mahila Ne Apni Saheli Ko Samjhaya,
Tumhe Do Baaton Me Se Ek Ka Chunaao Karna Hai,
Ya To Kunwari Raho Aur Raat Din Pati Paane Ki,
Iccha Karti Raho, Ya Vivah Kar Lo Aur Har Raat,
Pati Ka Intezaar Karti Raho.
~~~~~
Monu Aur Sonu Dono Ek Aur Ek Gyaarah Film Dekhne Gaye,
Ticket Wale Ne Monu Se Pucha – Aapne Kitne Ticket Liye Hain,
Monu :- Liye To Humne 11 Ticket Hai Kyunki Ek Aur Ek Gyarah.
~~~~~
Pehli Ladki : Jab Se Meri Shadi Hui Hai,
Rakesh Ne Ek Baar Bhi Mujhse Pyar Nahi Kia,
Saheli : Tumhara Pati. To Badha Ajeeb Aadmi Hai,
Pehli Ladki : Meri Shadi Rakesh Se Nahi Hui Hai.
~~~~~
Police :- Tumne Uski Jeb Mein Hath Kyu Daala ?
Mujrim :- Ji Mujhe Thand Lag Rahi Thi,
Aur Uske Jeb Ke Ander Kaafi Saari Garmi Thi.
45+ Hilarious Jokes of the Day
Masterji :- Rakesh Jab Me Padha Raha Tha,
To Tum Baatein Kyu Kar Rahe The,
Rakesh :- Nahi Sir Aapko Galat Faimi Hui Hai,
Main Kabhi Bhi Neend Me Baatein Nahi Karta.
~~~~~
Pinki :- Ek Aadmi Roj Raat Ko Sapne Me Aakar Mere Pet,
Me Chaku Maar Deta Hai Kahi Ye Sapna Sach Na Ho Jaaye,
Babli : Pagal, Sapne Kabhi Sach Hote Hai,
Agar Sach Hote To Mujhe To Ab Tak Kahi Bache Ho Chuke Hote.
~~~~~
Pati : Patni Office Se Aane Ke Baad Kisise Nahi Milti,
Aur Iss Waqt To Weh Waise Bhi Nahi Mil Sakti Hain,
Weh Naha Rahi Hain,
Salesman : Are Yeh To Moka Hain Unse Milne Ka Jao Unhe Keh De,
Ki Sabse Achi Shop Campany Ka Salesman Unse Milne Aya Hai.
~~~~~
Shaam 6 Baje Ghar Laut Aaye Pati Se Hairan Hote,
Hue Patni Ne Pucha Kya Hua Aaj Itni Jaldi Aa Gaye.
Pati Ne Naraj Hote Hue Kaha – Ha Boss Ne Meri Galti Par Dantte Hue,
Kaha Ki Jao Narak Me Chale Jaon Ab Or Main Kaha Jata.
~~~~~
Zimbaaabe Mein Match Ke Doran Sachin Tendulkar,
Ne Apne Junior Dhoni Se Pepsi Ki Botal Mangwayi,
Weh Bottel To Le Aaya Par Use Sachin Ko Dene,
Ke Bajaye Vinender Sahwag Ko De Di.
Sachin – Kyu Re Dhone Sehwag Ko Kyo Di.
Dhoni – Kholne Ke Lie Sehwag Hamesa Se Opener Raha Hai.
Funny Messages for Whatsapp
Chota Bachha Paani Se Gabrata Tha Or Sabun Se Bhi,
Maa Ne Samjhane Ki Kosish Ki Dekho Beta,
Kya Tum Hamesha Saaf Suthra Nahi Rehna Chahte.
Beta – Chahta Hu Maa Par Kya Tum Mujhe,
Sirf Zaadkar Saaf Suthra Nahi Kar Sakti Ho.
~~~~~
Pehla Dost – Yaar Kya Pyar Mein Sirf Thokre Hi Khani Padti Hai,
Dusra Dost – Muskurakar Bola, Nahi-Nahi Kabhi Sandal Thappad,
Bhi Padte Hai.
~~~~~
Bush :- Aajkal Humare Yaha E-Mail Se Kaafi Shadi Hone Lagi H,
Lalu :- Accha! Humare Yaha To Aaj Bhi Female Se Hi Shadi Hoti H.
~~~~~
Nas Bandhi Karne Walo Ki Team Jab Dobara Ussi Gaon Aayi To,
Log Bole:- ‘Arey Kamino,
Pehle Aaye The To Line Kaat Gaye The,
Ab Kya Meter Ukhad Kar Le Jaoge.
~~~~~
Bhagwan Se Pani Manga To Sagar Diya,
Phul Manga To Bagicha Diya,
Ghar Manga To Mahal Diya,
Paisa Manga To Aapka No. Diya,
Jaldi Btao… Kab Aaya Lene.
~~~~~
Doctor Ko Nasbandhi Ke Marij Ke Piche Bhagte Dekh,
Ek Aadmi Ne Pucha :- Kya Hua, Kyu Bhag Rahe Ho,
Doctor :- Pichli Baar Ki Tarah Iss Baar Bhi
Baal Saaf (Hair Remove ) Karwa Ke Bhag Raha H.
50+ Funny Status Messages in English
Aapki Chal Mor Jaisi,
Awaj Koyal Jaisi,
Dimaag Lomadi Jaisa,
Gussa Sher Jaisa,
Aankhe Heeran Jaisi,
Kitna Accha Hota Agar…
Kuch Aadat Insaan Jaisi Bhi Hoti.
~~~~~
Gadha Jo Khae Wo Ghas Ho Tum,
Budhe Aadmi Ka Chawanprash Ho Tum,
Idiot, Stupid, Bakwas Ho Tum,
Par Jo Bhi Ho Yaar, Badhe Jhakkas Ho Tum.
~~~~~
Boy To Girl: Chalo Kisi Sunsan Jangh Chalte H,
Girl: Tum Aisi Waisi Harkat To Nahi Karoge Na.
Boy: Nahi Bilkul Nahi.
Girl: To Phir Rehne Do.
~~~~~
Independence Day Offer :-
Apne Mobile Se 100 No Dial Kare Or
Kahe :- Sansad Bhawan Me Bum H
Aap Payenge 14 Years Ke Liye Central Jail Ki,
Yatra, Kapde, Khana, Sab Kuch Free !
Jaldi Kijiye Offer 15 August Tak .
T & C Apply
~~~~~
Santa Or Banta Ko 3 Bomb Mile,
Police Ko Dene Chale,
Agar Koi Bomb Raste Mein Fat Gaya To ??
Banta : Fir Hum Jhoth Bol Denge, Ki Hamein 2 Hi Mile The.
Very Funny Messages in Hindi
Raste Par Se Janaja Gujar Raha Tha,
Ek Aadmi Tituk Kar Khada Ho Gaya,
Usne Janaje Me Shamil Ek Aadmi Se Puccha :- Kon Mara H
Jwab Milla :- Wo Jo Sabse Aage Arthi Par Leta Hua H Na, Wo Mara H.
~~~~~
Ladki : Agar Tumne Mujhe Kiss Karne Ki Koshish Ki To Mein Shor Macha Dungi,
Ladka: Lekin Yaha To Dur Dur Tak Koi Nahi H
Ladki : Mein Janti Hu, Par Formality To Karni Hi Hogi.
~~~~~
Santa: Tumne Bangla Bada Badiya Bnaya H,
Lekin Bathroom Mein Bath Tub Bahut Chota H,
Banta: Oye Tu Fir Se Flux Mein Naha Aaya Kya,
~~~~~
Santa :- Murga Kaise Diya ?
Banta :- 80 Rs, 50 Rs, 10 Rs,
Santa :- 10 Rs Itna Sasta Kyu,
Banta :- Sahib Ise Aids H,
Santa :- De Do Khana H, Shadi Thodi Karni H.
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Santa:- Lagta H, Mujhse Karj Lekar Tum Mujhe Bhul Gaye Ho,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Banta:- Nahi To, Agar Bhul Jata To Tumhe Dekhkar Mein Bhagta Kyu.
Santa Banta Funny Messages
Santa : Yaar Meri Biwi Pani Se Bahut Darti H,
Banta : Acha Wo Kaise?
Santa : Yaar Kal Mein Ghar Aaya To Wo,
Bath Tub Mein Bhi Security Guard Ke Sath Baithi Thi.
~~~~~
Santa : Mujhe White Color Ka Condom Dena.
Banta : White Kyun?
Santa : Meri Padosan Ka Pati Marr Gaya H
Mujhe Afsos Karne Jana H.
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Kanjusi Ka Jab Oscar Diya Jayega,
To Aapka Naam Sabse Pehle Aayega,
Galti Se Bhi Kisi Ko Ek Sms Mat Kar Dena,
Warna Oscar Koi Aur Le Jayega.
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Beta: Papa Confidence Mein Aur Confidential Mein Kya Farak Hota H.
Papa: Beta Tum Mere Bete Ho Ye Mera Confidence H Or,
Tumhara Dost Mera Beta H Ye Confidential H.
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Santa: Yaar Meri Biwi Mujhe Chod Ke Chali Gayi,
Banta : Tu Uska Khyal Nahi Raktha Hoga,
Santa: Nahi Yaar Pura Khayal Rakha The Bilkul Sagi Behan Ki Tarah.
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Ladka Shadi Se Pehle – Spiderman
Sagai Ke Baad – Superman
Shadi Ke Baad – Gentleman
Shadi Ke 10 Saal Baad – Watchman
20 Saal Baad – Daburman
40+ Santa Banta Jokes in Hindi
Ek Ladki Thi Deewani Si….
Ek Ladke Pe Wo Marti Thi,
Kuch Lena Tha Use,
Lekin Preganancy Se Wo Darti Thi,
Jab Bhi Milti Thi Mujhe,
Yahi Poccha Karti Thi,
Ye “CONDOM” Kaha Se Milta H.
~~~~~
Sabzi Wale Ki Shadi Hui, Suhaag Raat Ko Biwi Par Pani Chidakane Laga,
Biwi: Kya Kar Rahe Ho Ji??
Subzi Wala: Mall Taaza Kar Raha Hu Or Kya????
~~~~~
Surdaas: Bhabhi Ladoo Le Lo,
Babhi Naha Rahi Thi Socha Surdas To Andhe H,
Be Libas Hi Bahar Aake Boli, Ye Kis Khusi Mein,
Surdaas: Meri Aankhe Theek Ho Gayi.
~~~~~
Wife: Suno Ji, Kutto Ko Kaise Pata Chalta H,
Ki Kutiya Ka Mann Kar Raha H Sex Karne Ka?
Husband: Soongh Ke.
Wife: To Tumhe Kya Zukham Hua H?
~~~~~
Sardar Ko Khwab Mein Kisi Ne Nanga Kar Diya,
Subh Sardar Ne Apna Bank Account Band Karwa Diya.
Kyu???
Kyunki Bank Mein Likha Tha
Ham Aap Ke Sapno Ko Haqiqat Me Badal Dein Ge.
~~~~~
Sardar Apni Balcony Mein Shirt Utar Ker Baitha Tha,
Dost: Yaar Kya Chest H,
Sardar Fakhar Se, Ye To Kuch Bhi Nahi Ander Jaker Apni Bhabhi Ki Dekh.
Funny Messages to Send Girlfriend
Aisi Kon Si Chij H Jo Woman Mein Aage Or Cow Mein Piche Hoti H.
?
?
?
?
It’s “W”
Har Waqt Ganda Mat Socho.
~~~~~
Wedding Night Ki Subha Dulhe Ne Dulhan Se Pocha.
Kaisa Mehsus Kar Rahi Ho?
Dulhan: Aap Ne To Mujhe College Ke Dino Ki Yaad Dila Di.
~~~~~
Dulha Jab 3 Din Baad Room Se Nikla To Uske Doston Ne Pucha
Itne Din Suhag Raat???
Dulha: Abhey Saalo! Pehle Ye Btao Ki,
Tel Ki Bottle Mein Fevicol Kisne Dala Tha?
~~~~~
Son: What Is The Difference Between Love,
Relief And Belief ?
Father: You Mom Is My Love,
Your Maid Is My Relief And.
I’m Your Dad-Well That’s My Belief.
~~~~~
Teacher: Do You Know The Meaning Of Period?
Student: Yes! Once My Sister Said,
She Missed One And My Mother Fainted,
Father Had A Heart Attack And The Driver Ran Away!.
55+ Comedy Jokes in Hindi Language
Jin: Kya Hokum H Mere Aaqa?
Aaqa: Pakistan Se Load Shedding Aur Mehngai Kam Kar Do,
Aur Petrol Sasta Kar Do,
Jin: Aaqa! Hokum Do Harami Pan Mat Karo.
~~~~~
Wife A: I Hate My Engineer Husband, “Erect And Erect”,
Wife B: I Hate My Doctor Husband, “Inject And Inject”,
Wife C: You Both Are Lucky, Mine Is Judge, “Tareekh Pe Tareek”,
Wife D: Tum Mujhse Jyada Lucky Ho,
I Hate My Vakeel Husband Jo Pichle Ek Saal Se Hartal Pe H,
Kehta H Judge Aayega To Kaam Karenge.
~~~~~
Kutte Ke Bacche Ne Uski Maa Se Pucha,
Maa Mere Pitaji Kaise The
Maa Boli Pata Nahi Beta,
Piche Se Aaye The Or Piche Se Hi Chale Gaye
~~~~~
Santa :- Ek Cigarette Dena.
Banta :- Yaar Tumne To Cigret Chod Di Thin Na,
Santa :- Ha Par Abhi To Sirf Kharidni Chodi H
~~~~~
Boy: Would You Like To Dance With Me?
Girl: Sorry! Mein Bachey Ke Sath Dance Nahi Karti,
Boy: Oh! Sorry I Don’t Know That U R Pregnant.
