Collection of Funniest Jokes
Monu Ke Pet Ke Upar Se Chiti Nikal,
Gayi To Wo Uthkar Chilane Laga.
Sonu :- Isme Itna Chilaane Ki Kya Baat Hai ?
Monu :- Aaj To Chiti Gayi Hai,
Kal Chuha, Truck, Kutta, Gaadi,
Mein Se Kuch Bhi Guzar Sakte Hai.
~~~~~
Bunty Babli Se – Vermaji Ka Dehaant Ho Gaya Hai,
Babli – Maalum Hai
Abhi Kal Hi Humne Unhe Get Well Card Bheja Tha,
So Hamare Paise Bhi Bekar Ho Gaye.
~~~~~
Pappu – Aaj Tumne Kon Sa Nek Kaam Kiya,
Bunty – Ek Aadmi Bus Ke Piche Dodh Raha Tha,
Maine Uske Piche Apna Kutta Chod Diya,
Kutte Ke Dar Se Weh Or Tej Doda Or Bus Mein Chad Gaya.
~~~~~
Pappu – Paani Ubhal Raha Hai Or Chai-Patti Ka Diba Mil,
Hi Nahi Raha Kaha Rakha Hai Apne,
Bunti – Tumhe Kuch Nahi Milega Mere Kapdo Ki Almari Mai,
Coffee Ka Khali Dibba Hai Usme Ek Choti Si Dibiya Hai,
Uss Par Raat Ki Rani Likha Hai Usme Hi Chai Padi Hui Hai.
~~~~~
Kisi Ghar Mein Mehmaan Talne Ka Naam Nahi Le Raha Tha,
Kaafi Dair Sabar Kar Chukne Ke Badh Mehmaan Ne Bade,
Madhur Sawar Mein Mehman Se Pucha – Aapke Liye Kuch Mangwau,
Sahab Thanda Garm Ya Phir Auto, Taxi
55+ Comedy Jokes in Hindi Language
Teacher – Batao Billu Banjhar Kise Kehte Hai,
Billu – Jaha Kuch N Ugh Sake,
Teacher – Example Ke Tor Par Koi Banjhar Jagah Ka Naam Bolo,
Billu – Ji Mere Pitaji Ki Khopdi Ko Hi Dekhlo.
~~~~~
Teacher : Bachcho Ke Liye Maa Ka Dudh Janwaro Ke Dudh Se,
Kyu Achha Hota Hain,
Santa – Kyuki Weh Hamesa Taaza Rehta Hain,
Aur Use Churaya Nahi Jaa Sakta Aur N Hi Use Billi Pi Sakti Hai.
~~~~~
Banti – Master Sahab Real Mein Chand Kya Hai,
Teacher – Bus Samajh Lo Ki Weh Raat Ka Suraj Hai,
Banti – To Iska Matlab Yeh Hua Ki Suraj Din Ka Chand Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Aurat Ne Apne Bete Se Kaha Bete Kisi Sabay Ghar,
Ka Beta Itne Gande Sabad Ka Paryog Nahi Karta,
Tum Bhi Mat Karo, Lekin Mummy Ye To Ghalib Ke Sabad Hai,
Thik Hai Aaj Se Tum Unke Saath Khelna Band Kar Do.
~~~~~
Ek 15 Saal Ki Ladki Ko Malum Hua Ki Weh Garbwati Hai,
Khas Main Use Raat Apne Maa – Baap Ke Saath Cinema,
Dekhne Chali Gayi Hoti,
~~~~~
Saheli :- To Gayi Kyu Nahi Thi,
Kaise Jati Film Kewal +18 Ke Liye Thi Isiliye,
To Mere Maa Baap Mujhe Chod Kar Chale Gaye.
Funny Text Messages of the Day
Ek Sardar Ki Patni Kahi Ja Rahi Thi,
Packing Ke Samay Sardar Pass Khada Man Hi Man,
Muskura Kar Soch Raha Tha Kitti Boli Hai,
Main Nahi Ja Raha, Fir Bi Condom Rakh Rahi Hai
~~~~~
Santo Santa Ka Pass Leti Hui Kehne Lagi,
Mera Khayal Hain Main Marne Wali Hoon,
Santa – Agar Tum Mar Gaye To Main Pagal Ho Jaunga,
Santo – To Pagal Ho Kar Shadi Kar Lena Meri Jaan,
Santa – Bhala Itna Pagal To Main Ho Nahi Sakta.
~~~~~
Jailor – Ab Jail Se Chut Kar Kya Karoge,
Kaidi – Johri Ki Dukan Kholunga,
Jailor – Dukan Kholne Ke Liye Paisa Kaha Se Laoge,
Kaidi – Hujur Johri Ki Dukan Kholne Ke Lie,
To Ek Hathode Ki Hi Jarurat Hoti Hai.
~~~~~
Santa – Kal Meri Lover Ne Mera Apmaan Kiya,
Banta – Kaise?
Santa – Weh Mujse Puchne Lagi Ki Tumko Gana Ata Hai,
Banta – To Isme Apmaan Ki Kya Baat Hai? Sidha Sawal Hai,
Santa – Lekin Usne Kaafi Der Tak Mera,
Gaana Sunne Ke Baad Yeh Pucha Tha.
~~~~~
Papa – Are Tum To Exam Dene Gaye The Rote Kyu Wapas Aye,
Pappu – Kya Karu Paper Mein Likha Tha,
“Piche Dekho” Maine Mudh Kar Dekha To Teacher Ji,
Ne Mujhe Bahar Nikal Diya, Tabhi Main Ghar Aaya Hu.
45+ Hilarious Jokes of the Day
Pappu – Hum Ek Dusre Se Itna Pyar Karte Hai,
Phir Bhi Shadi Ke Liye Tolmatol Kar Rahi Ho,
Kya Tumhe Mere Pyar Par Barosa Nahi Hain Hai,
Babli – Pyar Par To Bharosa Hai Par Tumhari Asthayi,
Naukri Ka Kya Bharosa Ki Kab Chali Jaaye.
~~~~~
Ek Mareej Ne Bimari Mein Ek Doctor Or Ek Deshi Vaid Ki,
Dawa Sath-Sath Suru Kar Di Par Koi Asar Nahi Hua,
Aakhir Phir Doctor Ke Paas Jana Pada,
Doctor – Bhai Tumne Us Deshi Vaid Ki Dawai Kyu Shuru Ki
Baat Yeh Hai Ki Deshi Vaid Dawa Achhi Deta Hai,
Dawai Kon Achhi Deta Hai Yeh To Postmartam Hi Bataega.
~~~~~
Babli – Plastic Ke Dastano Ka Kya Karoge ?
Bunti – Unhe Pehan Kar Me Hath Dhoya Karunga,
Taaki Hatho Par Pani N Lage Or We Gile N Ho.
~~~~~
Rajneetik Netaji – Hame Apne Pairo Par Khade Hone,
Ki Kosish Karni Chahiye. Itna Kehte Hi Ek Mahila Bidh Se Turant Khadi Hui Or,
Jor Se Boli – Main To Bahut Der Se Kosish Kar Rahi Hu Par,
Police Wala Baar-Baar Baitha Deta Hai.
~~~~~
Raja Ne Apne Sainik Ko Ek Mariyal Sa Godha Inaam Main De Diya,
Sainik Khusi-Khusi Wo Godha Apne Ghar Le Gaya,
Lekin Usi Raat Weh Godha Mar Gaya,
Agle Din Raja Ne Jab Godhe Ke Bare Main Pucha,
To Sainik Bola – Maine Aisa Tej Raftar Godha Apne,
Jiwan Mein Nahi Dekha Wo Ek Hi Raat Mein Iss Duniya Se,
Uss Duniya Mein Pahunch Gaya Hai. Shayad Usme Shakti Thi.
~~~~~
Choti Si Bharti Roo Rahi Thi To Maa Ne Uske Sir Par Hath,
Pher Ke Kaha, Bharti Rote Nahi Hai Rone Se Ladkiya Badsurat,
Ho Jaati Hai, Pinki Ne Turnt Rona Band Kar Diya Or Phir Boli,
Mummy Bachpan Main To Tum Bahut Hi Royi Hogi.
~~~~~
Bhabi :- Raat Tum Pee Kar Siver Mein Gir Hue The,
Devar :- Kya Karu Bhabi, Sab Kameene Dosto Ki Wajah Se Hua Hai,
Bhabi :- Matlab Kya Hai Tumhara,
Bhabi :- Hum Teen Dost The Or Ek Bottle Thi Aur Wo Dono Peete Nahi Hai.
Funniest Jokes Ever of All Time
Santa Ne Apne Dost Se Pucha – Yaar Kya Baat Hain,
Aajkal Tumhari Santo Badhi Chuo-Chup Rehti Hain?
Dost Ne Kaha- Baat Ye H Ki Ek Din Jab Hum Dono Photo,
Khinchwa Rahe The To Photo Wale Ne Meri Santo Se Keh,
Diya Ki Jab Ap Chup Rehti Hai To Ekdum Sonakshi Sinha Jaisi Lagti Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Mareej Hospital Mein Admit Tha Uska Ek Dost,
Waha Usse Milne Aaya To Usne Pucha – Kaisi Chal Rahi Hai,
Mareej – Yaha Mera Badha Khayal Rakha Jata Hai Do Nurse,
Mere Sath Hi Rehti Hai, Ek Subah Aati Hai,
Or Ek Sham Ko Aati Hai, Lunch Ke Baad Me Araam Karta Hun.
~~~~~
Ek Shikari Apne Dost Ko Hathi Ki Masti Ka Haal Suna Raha Tha,
Ki Jab Hathi Masti Mein Aata Hai To Apni Mada Ko Kaise Bulata Hai,
Yeh Kehkar Usne Ek Ajeeb Si Aawaj Nikali Bilkul Hathi Jaisi,
Itne Mein Us Ki Patni Bahar Aayi Or Boli Kya Aapne Mujhe Bulaya.
~~~~~
Santa – Yaar Banta Tera Ladka Bada Kharab Hai,
Badhi Gandi – Gandi Galiya Bakta Hai,
Banta – Abhi Umar Hi Kya Hai Jara Badha Hone Di Jiye,
Phir Achhi – Achhi Galiya Dene Lagega.
~~~~~
Nayi-Nayi Dulhan Ne Apne Office Se Aate Hue Pati Se Kaha,
Ek Khushkhabri Hai, Hum Jald Hi 2 Se 3 Hone Wale Hain,
Pati ; Mubarak Ho, Or Khush Hokar Patni Ko Bahon Me Le Lia,
Patni : Mujhe Umeed Hi Nahi Thi Ke Tum Itne Khush Hoge,
Meri Mummy 1 Baje Aat Ki Flight Se Aa Rahi Hai.
45+ Funny Text Messages for Friends
Patni :- Ghar Me Sirf Ek Chammach Chini Padi Hai,
Aur Tum Apne Dost Ke Liye Chai Banane Ko Keh Rahe Ho,
Pati :- Koi Baat Nahi, Tum Meri Chai Me Cheeni Mat Dalna,
Bas Ek Kiss De Dena, Chai Khudi Meethi Ho Jaayegi,
Patni :- Idea Accha Hai Me Dono Hi Cup Me Chini Nahi Daalungi.
~~~~~
Jab Jab Me Apni Premika Ko Film Dikhane Le Jata Hoon,
Tab Tab Wo Ek Hi Baat Kehti Hai Ke Usne Mere Jaisa Dusra,
Aadmi Nahi Dekha !
Par Tu Use Kabhi Chidiaghar Dikhaane Bhi Le Gaya Hai Ya Nahi ?
~~~~~
Shadi Ke Dusre Hi Din Patni Ne Apne Nikhattu Pati Se,
Mann Ki Iccha Jaahir Ki, Maine B.A Pass Kia Hai,
Agar Main Naukari Karu To Aapko Aitraaz Hoga,
Tum Bhi Kamal Karti Ho, Isi Umeed Par To Mene Tumse Shadi Ki Hai.
~~~~~
Shadi Par Shehnaayi Baj Rahi Thi,
Santo Ne Santa Se Pucha, Ye Kaun Si Dhun Baj Rahi Hai,
Santa Bola, Wahi Jo Toofan Ke Aane Se Pehle Bajayi Jati Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Nange Badan Bhikhari Ko Thand Me Thithurta,
Dekhkar Imran Hashmi Ne Apna Coat Utaar Kar Use De Dia,
Bhikhari Ne Coat Wapas Karte Hue, Car Me Imran Ki Bagal,
Me Bethi Mallika Sherawat Ko Dekhte Hue Kaha,
Mujse Jyada Madam Ko Iski Jarurat Hai
Really Funny Jokes In Hindi
Do Aged Lady Baatein Kar Rahi Thi,
Ek Ne Pucha – Bahut Din Ho Gaye Hain,
Tum Doctor Ki Dukan Par Nahi Mili H,
Kya Baat Hai, Tabiyat To Thik Hai.
~~~~~
Doctor Ne Mareej Ko Dekha Aur Bola,
Tumhara Urine Test Karna Padega,
Wo Pare Rack Par Shishi Padi Hai, Use Bhar Do,
Santa : Yahin Se ?
~~~~~
Dhritrashtra :- Gandhari Hum Apke Bahut Aabhari Hain,
Ki Hume Aapne 100 Putra Diye Hai!
Gandhari :- Maharaj Yadi Aap Andhe Nahi Hote,
To Ye Bhi Kabhi Sambhaw Nahi Hota.
~~~~~
Santo :- Kal Raat Teen Chor Aaye Aur Mera Rape Karke Chale Gaye,
Santa :- Tumne Unhe Roka Kyu Nahi ?
Santo :- Bahut Roka Par Bole Ab Aur Taakat Nahi Hai Kal Aayenge.
~~~~~
Santa Ne Santo Ko Ek Akbaar Mein Chape Photo Sahit,
Samachar Dikhaate Hue Kaha, Ye Poora Pariwaar Kaanch
Khata Hai ! Dekha Hai Kabhi Aisa,
Santo :- Tumse To Thik Hai Tum To Din Raat Dimaag Khate Ho.
~~~~~
Santa :- Murga Kese Dia ?
Dukandar :- 80/- Rupe 50 /- Rupe 10/- Rupe !
Santa :- 10/- Rupye Itna Sasta Kyun ?
Dukandar – Sahab Ise Aids Hai !
Santa :- De Do Khana Hai , Shadi Thodi Karni Hai !
Santa Banta Funny Jokes
Santo :- Main Shadi Ke Baad Tumhare Dukh Baant Lungi,
Santa :- Lekin Mujhe To Koi Dukh Nahi Hai,
Santo :- Main To Shadi Ke Baad Ki Baat Kar Rahi Hoon.
~~~~~
Santa Doctor Se :- Mujhko Ek Preoblem Hai !
Doctor :- Kya ?
Santa :- Baat Karte Waqt Aadmi Dikhaayi Nahi Deta,
Doctor :- Aisa Kab Hota Hai ?
Santa :- Phone Karte Waqt.
~~~~~
Santa Pathology Lab Ke Bahar Roo Raha Tha,
Banta Ne Pucha :- Kya Huaa ?
Santa :- Blood Test Karaane Aaya Tha Saalo Ne Ungli Kaat Di,
Banta :- Baap Re Mujhe To Urine Test Karwaana Hai.
~~~~~
Pati :- Koi Aisi Baat Batao Jisme Dukh Bhi Ho Khushi Bhi ?
Patni :- Tumhara, Tumhare Saare Dosto Se Badha Hai.
~~~~~
Patni Ne Kaha Ab To Me Maayke Ja Rahi Hu,
Tum Apni Shanti Ko Bulaakar Chain Se Rehna,
Pati – Kis Shanti Ki Baat Kar Rahi Ho Tum,
Patni – Usi Kalmuhi Ki Jiske Baare Me Tum Hamesha,
Kaha Karte Ho Ke Mujhe Kuch Din To Shanti Ke Sath Rehne Do.
~~~~~
Ek Sardaar Apne Bete Se Bola Bewakuf Kaisi Machish,
Le Kar Aaya Hai, Ek Bhi Tilli Nahi Jalti,
Beta – Kya Baat Karte Ho Papa Sabhi,
Tilli To Test Karke Laya Hu Main.
Akbar Birbal Ke Kisse Aur Kahaniya
Ek Ladki Ne Apni Saheli Ko Bataya, Me Rehan Se Bilkul,
Shadi Nahi Kar Sakti !,
Kyun ? Kya Tumne Use Kisi Aur Ladki Ke Sath Dekh Lia Hai,
Nahi, Lekin Rehan Ne Mujhe Kisi Aur Ladke Ki Baaho Mein Dekh Lia Hai.
~~~~~
Ek Chor Ko Puchte-Puchte Raat Ko Kuch Police Wale,
Uske Ghar Gaye Or Chor Ki Patni Se Pucha –Tumhare,
Pati Kahan Gaye Hain ,
Patni :- Ji Wo Apni Raat Ki Duty Karne Gaye Hain.
~~~~~
Sardar Ki Maut Bijli Ke Girne Se Ho Gayi,
Par Uski Laash Muskuraate Hue Mili To,
Bhagwan Ne Pucha Aise Kyun,
Sardar – Menu Laga Si Koi Photo Khinch Raha Si.
~~~~~
Do Lover Train Mein Birth Ke Upar Sex Kar Raha Tha,
Itne Mein Ladki Ki Bra Niche So Rahe Sardar Ji Par Jaa Giri,
Sardar :- Ye Ki Kitta Oye Tu,
Dudh To Tussi Pee Gaye Saara Or Ye Lifafa Idhar Fek Ditta.
~~~~~
Ek Sardar Poore Safar Sochta Raha, Sochta Raha,
Sochta Raha Aur Sochte-Sochte Hi Safar Pura Ho Gaya,
Ki Agar Meri Behan Ke Do Bhai To Mera Ek Kaise Hua.
